The Unexpected Ever Afters is back from summer break and excited to continue the journey of sharing stories on this blog.  During June, in addition to our blog break, I was also off contract from my job.  I enjoyed soaking up the start of summer with some extra time to spend with my family as well as additional time to relax. I found myself reading more, laughing more, and even sleeping more soundly.  In the blink of an eye, the month was over.  As I transitioned into July, I thought about a reflection practice that I learned from a favorite author of mine, Emily P. Freeman.  In a monthly email to her subscribers, she always reflects on the below three questions.  This month, as I return to work and re-discover my own routines, I thought I would reflect on my answers to her question prompts:

1. In 5 words, how would you describe the June you’ve actually had?
Family
Space
Connection
Contemplative
Laughter

2. When was a moment that felt the way you imagine June ought to feel?
Many of my childhood memories of June include camping trips, boating, and swimming.  Despite the Midwest’s unpredictable June weather, with temperatures ranging between 50s to 90s, my family would always venture out to the lake.  One June memory from years ago involves a particularly chilly camping trip with a friend.  Although we had been prepared to swim and suntan all weekend, we instead faced 50 degree temperatures and high winds. We swam in near freezing water.  There are photos of us near the cabin as we attempted to find a sunny space out of the wind, our sweatpants and sweatshirts rolled up in order to suntan our arms and legs.

Fast forward to this summer and my new family tradition: spending a week at my parent’s house, which is located on a bay along a river.  They have a small beach next to the water in their backyard which they fill with water toys, buckets for sand, animal-shaped floaties, a kayak, and standing paddle board.  It is far from the camping experiences of my childhood, but contains many of the same memory-making aspects, including swimming, boating, and sunshine!  Every year, this week is a highlight of our summer.

This year,  however, the weather was COLD; one night there was an actual frost advisory, quite unusual for June.  My summer-loving kids were not satisfied to sit inside in sweatshirts while staring at the pile of fun beach toys, so despite the temperature, they pulled on their swimsuits almost every day.  After a couple of days dodging their requests to join them in the water, I finally relented.  Later that afternoon, I called my friend who had previously joined me on our notoriously cold camping trip and invited her to join my kids and I. “It’s cold!” she protested.   With laughter we recalled when we were younger and the ones insisting on swimming despite the weather!

Soon, she was over, and we changed into swimsuits, ignoring the clouds and cool temps, to join the kids in the frigid water.  As I treaded water near a floaty that my sweet daughter was on, she looked at me with purple tinted lips visibly shivering and exclaimed, “Aren’t you having so much fun!?”  And, I laughed. I grinned at her giant, visibly-shaking smile, then watched her brother paddling on a floaty, laughing at the reluctance of my friend to jump in.  I glanced up at my friend, shivering on the dock, as she argued with him about the merits of being in the freezing water.  And, I felt it, the joy that comes unexpectedly.  I pulled my daughter closer to me, rapidly rubbing her arms to try and warm her up as I answered, “yes, yes, I was having so much fun.”  

Not long after that moment, we all got out of the water and I insisted my kids take warm showers and put on sweatshirts.  My friend and I sat on the patio with my dad, drinking beer and watching for spots of sunshine to break through the clouds. Through swimming, laughter, conversation and connection, I thought to myself, this is June, and these are the moments I’ll remember.

3. What’s one way you will make room to be with this current, right-now version of yourself in July?
My hope is to capture the same essence of June and carry it with me into July, despite no longer being in vacation mode.  I frequently try to remind myself that life doesn’t have to be an either/or, it can be a “both.”  It does not have to be one month of connection followed by one month of work.  It can be both connection and work occurring in the same month.  

The honest truth is, I am not very good at finding this “both” yet.  I struggle with transitioning back into a work routine after a month of vacation.  And, I struggle with remembering that the same joy that carried me through June is also available to me in July, just in a different way.  Which leads to my goals for July: Create space in an evening without previously scheduled activities to go on a local adventure with my kids; and to reach out on an open weekend to connect with family or a friend. Even as summer routine soon evolves into the rhythms of a new school year, I will continue to watch for opportunities for joy and connection and ways to experience more moments of unexpected joy.  

To our readers, thanks for welcoming us back from our blogging break.  I hope you’ve had a great start to summer.  And, if you too would like to reflect on parts of these questions, feel free to share in the comments as we continue to navigate the unexpected ever afters together. 

Jessica is a wife, mom, social worker, and writer.  She is co-author of the blog The Unexpected Ever Afters.