I wondered if the difficulty in navigating the spectrum of emotions added to my struggle with spinning. I was surprised to realize that feeling intense happiness could have contributed to my feeling nauseous.
Whether it’s overseas travel, exploring local parks, or simply processing an emotion, reflecting on life, or learning something new, there’s a lot of opportunities for exploration.
The black dot analogy connects to many of my life experiences. Specifically, the reality that parents and kids often remember experiences differently. It seems that moms are often harder on ourselves than our kids are on us. It makes me wonder, are kids somehow able to keep their focus on the whole page while parents struggle to see beyond the dot?
Hope has brought renewed opportunities to reflect on and process the past season; to leave the lonely routines of COVID uncertainty and create new rhythms of joy and hope.
As I reflected on this transition to a new season, one question in particular kept repeating in my mind: What might it feel like to grow out of the season of uncertainty and lean into a season of hope?
As a stay-at-home parent, some of the biggest stresses for me throughout this pandemic have been adjusting to a wide-open schedule, concurrently fulfilling multiple roles, and dealing with a perpetual avalanche of thoughts and emotions.
The underlying stress of COVID-19, safety restrictions, isolation, transitions for my kids, and navigating school social work, my daily baseline is higher, causing increased stress levels due to the constant level of tension. The more I talk to other people, the more I realize this seems to be the new normal for a lot of people. And, I think that says something about this pandemic and the impact that it's having on us, even when the effects aren’t always clearly visible. As I processed my experiences, I pushed myself to be honest and authentic in writing this post, acknowledging the fact that looking back over this year has been difficult and draining.
Maybe we’re all superheroes just by doing our best to make our corner of the world a better place in our daily routines, in our small yet still significant interactions, words, and behaviors.
So, in the spirit of vulnerability, I have been tired for months. And, although, of course, at times I have been swept into moments of joy and gratitude, I have also spent an inexplicable amount of time barely hanging on through the day-to-day expectations and responsibilities. As I have continued in this less than ideal reality, I found myself confronted with the idea of moving through rather than pushing away the negative emotions and experiences.
As we contemplate the past, and consider our future, let’s not forget to incorporate a little bit of grace for ourselves, our neighbors, and those in leadership positions, we’re all only human after all.