Here we are at the beginning of another year.  This is my sixth Unexpected Ever Afters New Year post (Click to read 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024).  It is interesting to see the similarities and differences in my New Year’s approach over the past five years.  As I prepared to write my 2025 post, I thought to myself, this year is going to be different, I am going to write about slowing down and living in the moment. Except as I re-read my past New Years posts, I realized that in essence this has been my theme all along.  It is a reminder of how easy it is for me throughout the year to get pulled into the hustle culture and catch phrases on how to successfully do it all, that I forget to remember that I previously decided not to buy into it. Nevertheless, this New Year I am recommitting to continuing the journey of enjoying the day-to-day life I live. 

As I reflected on 2024, I realized there were many reminders to “live in the moment” and to avoid getting swept up in being constantly busy.  Messages reminding me to “slow down” consistently popped up in various conversations and through articles and books that I read. A quote from Kendra Adachi’s book, The Plan: Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius, continues to stand out to me: , “[I don’t want to] measure life by greatness, success, or completed goals. In fact, I personally don’t want to “measure” my life at all. I want to live it.” I am someone who has spent a pretty significant amount of energy “measuring” my day-to-day life.  I continue to love journals, planners, pens, and sticky notes.  I am better at making awesome lists, setting SMART goals, and color coding my daily tasks in beautiful notebooks than I care to fully admit. Although none of these habits are inherently negative, they do have the down side of extra pressure, disappointment, and guilt when life inevitably doesn’t fit inside the lines.  Things like unexpected illnesses, stressful seasons at work, and even kids’ activity schedules can easily impact even the best planned goals. In her same book, Kendra wrote, “Staying grounded is better than staying on task, and learning to pivot is more important than learning to plan.  You don’t have to have a color-coded planner to feel connected to your life.”  This is a reminder I need to hear often, especially as my family comes out of a rather stressful second half of 2024 where unexpected stresses frequently upended my plans, and my energy was spent simply navigating the basics of each day. 

So, I’m doing my best to “stay grounded” as I pivot through all the unexpected twists of schedule disruptions and still maintain my goal of living in the moment. But, one of my biggest challenges with this practice is that I find myself continuing to dream about the future, including next steps in my life, career, or for my kids.  In fact, sometimes I need to dream.  When I stay awake to simply listen to my daughter breathe as she fights pneumonia, I need to know that there is a next, that there are parenting moments on the other side of sleepless nights and nasty illnesses.  When work is particularly stressful, the dream of future career opportunities carries me through the busyness of current responsibilities.  When all of the little daily tasks, the cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, become mundane, I need the reminder that all these little things are contributing to nurturing a healthy family. Really, I need frequent reminders that these small moments and responsibilities, daily habits and routines, do matter. 

Maybe this is what it comes down to: what matters.  Is it the color coded list that I will likely be unable to complete?  No.  Is it the lofty goal that requires more work, more grit, less sleep?  Also, likely no.  If I take a step back and really think about my dreams for the future, I realize it’s less about the tasks or the big goal completion and more about who I am in the future. Future me is someone who is rested, content, healthy, and connected with family and friends.  Yes, I still have goals for a career that I am proud of, as well as invested time in hobbies I enjoy, but these are not the focus. When I truly consider my hopes for the future, at the core the focus is that I am living a life that I am proud of. And, that same future goal of living life fits with my New Year’s goal to be and truly live in the moment, today.    

Recently, I was talking with a friend about goals.  She shared about having a focus for the month, something that matters most in this moment of time.  Then that focus can be used to guide and direct decisions, as a tie-breaker of sorts, to help focus how time is spent.  For example, if the intention of the month is connecting with people and a decision arises on how to spend an evening, choose an option that involves people.  If the focus of the month is to recharge or recover, choose the option that involves rest.  Picking a focus that can pivot with the seasons, a goal that isn’t measurable or check-box-able feels better, less prone to disappointment and guilt.  It still creates an intention to center on what matters, but it also allows room for life to expand outside the lines. 

All of this feels like a different way to set my New Year’s goals.  To still dream, but to dream about what matters.  To still allow goals to provide some direction, but recognizing that the goal will likely shift and change in the month-to-month or season-to-season.  To prioritize staying grounded while also being flexible enough to pivot when the inevitable disruptions occur.  Less lists, less color-coded tasks, and more rest and enjoyment in the day-to-day. Brene Brown wrote, “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”  This year, this is a plan I am here for. 

In all reality, this recentering on living into each moment is not so different from my goals of years past.  But, it still feels new again, as things often seem at the beginning of a new year.  So, I’ll try it again, this plan to live in the moment, pivoting when the things inevitably fluctuate. Stay tuned for New Years post number seven in 2026 and an update on how I refocused on living.  I wish you all the best as you too navigate another New Year. Happy 2025!

Jessica is a wife, mom, social worker, and writer.  She is co-author of the blog The Unexpected Ever Afters.

Photo credit: personal photo