Several weeks ago, while visiting my parents in rural Minnesota, I braved the morning’s subzero temperatures with the goal of capturing a photo of the beautiful sun dogs that surrounded the sunrise. Despite the face-numbing cold, I enjoyed the peaceful outdoors and listening to the birds and squirrels moving audibly over the crisp, frozen leaves. Then, as I wandered past a row of trees at the edge of the property, I noticed a nearby rustling sound, louder than the others. As the rustling persisted, I turned around in order to identify the source. It took a moment for my brain to register the animal within arm’s reach: an injured coyote! We both stared at each other for a brief moment, trying to assess how much of a threat the other posed, before I began backing quickly away.

I was quite surprised by this encounter! Later as I reflected on the experience, I started to consider the different ways the element of surprise makes its way into our lives. Sometimes it’s a literal knee-jerk reaction, like discovering a coyote on your path. But other times it’s more of a gradual realization of something turning out differently than anticipated. A sense of surprise goes hand-in-hand with navigating the unexpected. As our blog posts over the past five years have expressed, there’s a lot of surprising unexpecteds on life’s journeys.

As I considered the various ways that surprise has shown up in my life recently, I realized I had an example of a less heart-pounding but still unexpected surprise. During a weekend cooped inside due to the bitter cold outside and full-blown head-colds inside, my husband and I discussed our notions of what it meant to be successful and fulfilled. We shared our long-held hopes for big-goal life purposes that included noteworthy careers and making a difference in our areas of interest. As the conversation meandered, we transitioned to discussing our values and interpersonal connections and how these influenced both our big scale goals as well as our daily routines. As we reflected on how we hoped to find satisfaction by making a difference in the world around us, we were surprised to admit the amount of satisfaction we derive from the basics of day-to-day living. Everything from raising kids and all the levels of nitty-gritty that are involved to making and cleaning up home cooked meals to driving across the state for an afternoon visit with a loved one. We smiled as we reminisced over parenting moments like the constant reminders to wash hands and use kind words and the monotony of being responsible adults like paying the electric bill and washing laundry. We talked about the enjoyment we get from visiting family and connecting with friends and the simple pleasures of a cup of coffee or walking around the nearby park. Upon reflection, we realized these seemingly small moments have all contributed to a deep sense of contentment and fulfillment. As we considered the daily habits and routines that comprise our life’s journeys, we both acknowledged that we are fulfilled by the simple pleasures, much more so than we expected to be had we been asked about such things twenty years ago. Had I been asked as a young adult where I would find the most sense of fulfillment, I think I would’ve been disappointed if I thought my answer would be the basic routines in life, likely feeling such an answer revealed a sense of defeat, of settling, of dejectedly accepting a dissatisfying situation. I would’ve been surprised then, and honestly am a little surprised even now, that enjoying everyday life provides deep, rich confidence. I feel comforted in the satisfaction of connection, of recognizing that relationships matter a lot to me and caring for loved ones is a top priority. I feel accomplished when I assess the ways in which I fulfill my values through simple, but concrete actions like making meals for my family, expressing my appreciation to loved ones through cards in the mail, and making time to visit family. I feel settled in my normal routines, like prioritizing exercise, treating myself to coffee and a quiet moment at the start of every day, and protecting time to read and write. Although it feels unexpectedly surprising to admit, I really am fulfilled by the everyday rhythms of life.

So, I’m surprised to acknowledge the reality that my predictable, simple, daily routines provide such a sense of achievement. But there are also still surprising moments that frequently break into my expected, everyday life (most often brought about by my kids’ creativity). For so many reasons, kids seem to be the most prolific surprise-inducers. As the aforementioned head cold passed through our family, my son had to stay home from school as he fought his round. I alerted the school of his absence and began to mentally prepare myself for what I anticipated being a long day of redirecting disputes between my kids as they both adjusted to a change in our usual Monday routine; we thrive in routine. Much to my surprise, my son decided he would be a teacher for the day and initiated an impromptu at-home school schedule of his own, complete with a full day’s worth of educational events. As my kids set up the living room into a one-room-schoolhouse, I was skeptical that the peace would last for more than an hour without my intervention. However, they both surprised me with genuine excitement for the opportunity to switch gears for the day. As the day ended, I reflected on how this unexpected shift in routine did not crash in the anticipated irritable chaos but actually resulted in a surprise day of rest and rejuvenation.

This was followed by another at-home sick-day, but this time as the afternoon wore on the kids decided to be pirates. They crafted a cardboard ship and dressed various dolls and stuffed animals in “pirate” gear before donning their own eye patches and “shiver me timbers” accents. My six-year-old, always one to fully commit to an imaginative role, spent the entirety of supper that evening in her pirate character. She rambled on about the “rotten potato soup” pirates love to eat and, while pouring herself a glass of milk, shared in conspiratorial hushed tones that “the thing pirates like to drink most is blood…pig’s blood.” Kids’ unabashed creativity and self-expression are undoubtedly my favorite ways that surprise shows up in my daily life.

As the new year stretches into its second month, I hope to continue my quest to be on the lookout for and truly appreciate these unexpected moments filled with surprise. And I hope that by recognizing and appreciating these surprises, I can more deeply recognize and appreciate how a sense of fulfillment, enjoyment, and satisfaction show up in my everyday life.

Wendi is co-author of The Unexpected Ever Afters blog and enjoys sipping extra hot coffee, sharing a love of reading with her kids, and exploring bike trails.

photo credit: personal photos