If you live in the United States, this has likely been an overwhelming past couple of months.  Regardless of where a person lands on the political spectrum, emotions are running high; it feels like we are more divided than ever and there doesn’t appear to be an end in sight.  The toxicity is impacting relationships everywhere, from coworkers and social media acquaintances, to family and close friends. We are all experiencing an array of emotions as we navigate current events. 

For me, there is a consistent vibration of fear.  The values that I hold strongly, such as love and care for each other, my faith in a God that calls us to love our neighbors (all our neighbors), my career dedicated to supporting and empowering youth regardless of their abilities and orientations – these values that were reflected in previous policies suddenly are in jeopardy.  Everyday, I read news updates about decisions being made that directly contradict my values and impact people I care about.  The anxiety I feel from this is palpable, and the fear has seeped into multiple aspects of my life.  

If you find yourself also combating fear and anxiety now, I want you to know you are not alone.  It is an unprecedented time and we are all navigating the changes.  Here are a few reminders that are helping me as I navigate my own experiences. 

Be the Person You Want to Be: 

When I worked with middle school students, I used to teach a lesson about choosing who you want to be.  For example, I choose to be a person who loves, who values kindness, respect, and inclusiveness.  When talking to my students, I would say, “If you decide to be a person who shares kindness, you need to know that other people are still going to share hurt. You being kind does not make someone else kind.  But in the end, you are not doing it for them, you are doing it for you. Because you have decided that is who you are going to be. And they cannot take that away from you.”  This message applies today more than ever.  We are no longer talking about a middle school bully, but we are talking about an administration that views the world substantially differently than I do.  We are navigating policy changes that conflict with my values and hurt many people across our country.  However, do you know what those policy changes don’t do? They don’t change my value of love and kindness.  I am still a person who loves and nothing that happens on a federal political scale can change that. 

What is Good Will Be Good:

I heard a quote a while ago that was something like: “What is good will be good.”  As I reflected on this, I came up with a list of things that are good for me: Sunsets, sunrises, laughing so hard I cry, bedtime cuddles, a good book, bike rides, a warm cup of tea, friendships near and far, inside jokes, bear hugs, watching my kids grow up, contagious smiles and I love yous, writing, church on Sunday mornings, planning a spring garden, and good music. This list could go on and your list may look different, but on days where the fear makes it feel like everything is bad, I try to remember that actually there is still good.  And, some of what is good in my daily routine will always be good, regardless of federal policies. 

Healthy Habits:

Don’t forget to take care of yourself.  I know from experience this is easier said than done.  As I have written about more than once, self-care is the first thing to go when I am feeling overwhelmed. But, I know I am better, for myself and for those around me, if I am paying attention to my mental and physical health.  For me, being healthy includes setting boundaries such as only engaging in conversations I have the capacity for and limiting my daily consumption of news and social media.  It is important to me to be informed of current events, but it is also important to do this in a way that protects my mental health.  This is why boundaries are essential.  Taking care of myself also looks like rest, moving my body, and prioritizing creativity. It looks like also finding connection, intentional time with my family, and connecting with friends.  Everything is worse in isolation.  

Do What You Can:

I put this one last on the list because the others have to come first.  I cannot pour from an empty cup and neither can you.  Remember who you are, remember what is good, remember to take care of yourself, and then do what you can.  Although fear tries to convince me there is nothing I can do, I know that is not true. So, I have been intentional about calling my senators and representatives and sharing my opinions.  I find this app (5 Calls) very useful.  I also pay attention to local policies and email my state representatives on issues that matter to me.  I recognize everyone is experiencing the current events in different ways and I try to advocate as I can for those who might not be able to do so for themselves.  If you have the capacity for more, do more! Find an organization whose mission aligns with your values and join in order to help amplify your voice, find the power in numbers. 

Most importantly, remember: you matter.  We matter. Fear and division are not the end.  Remember who you are, remember what is good, remember to take care of yourself, remember to do what you can. You are not alone, we are in this together. I am praying for our country and I am praying for the readers of this post.  

With love,

Jessica

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Jessica is a wife, mom, social worker, and writer.  She is co-author of the blog The Unexpected Ever Afters.